Detention
by RedButterfly33
Summary: Just drabbles I had to do for detention on the Hogwarts Houses Challenges Forum, describing my various pranks. Often (read 'always') with my partner in crime, Gallonsofthestuff, AKA Gally.
1. Paint

I woke up in the dim dormitory and stretched my limbs, yawning widely. Throwing a cursory glance ay my nightstand, I saw my clock show 5:41. It was too early. I should try to get some sleep...

Aw screw it, sleep is for the weak! Throwing off my covers, I dressed quietly and tiptoed out of the dormitory, through the empty Gryffindor common room and out the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Good heavens girl, do you know what time it is?" she mumbled sleepily, as her frame swung back into place.

"Sorry," I whispered over my shoulder and continued down the corridor.

With another huge yawn, I pressed against the portrait of the Man in Red, and almost tripped in his frame, trying to enter the secret passage. It really was too early, I thought, descending the stone steps. Shouldn't I have waited until my brain can function at full capacity for this? But the excitement in my gut wouldn't let me go back to bed. I was halfway to the Hufflepuff Basement anyway.

Emerging behind a tapestry on the other side of the tunnel, I spotted a Ravenclaw prefect, walking half-dead down the corridor. I snickered to myself and considered startling him by jumping out suddenly, but thought better of it. It was always the easiest to sneak around the castle in the early hours of the morning, when prefects and teachers were too tired to even keep their eyes open. After he passed, I snuck over to the stack of barrels and knocked in a specific pattern on the second one from the bottom. Other than the Slytherin common room, the Hufflepuff one was the easiest to break into. You just needed to have a Puff tell you the password, _they never changed it_.

Sunlight was already streaming through the circular windows, and I wondered for a second how long it took me to get here, but it must've been at least 20 minutes. The drawbacks of living on the seventh floor.

I quietly snuck through the circular entrance to the dorms and quickly found the one I needed. Cracking the door open just a tad, I could see all of the Hufflepuff girls were still asleep. I wondered if that plushy I enchanted to sing Nyan Cat was still locked in Lexi's trunk, but decided there'd be plenty of time to check for that later. I found Gally's bed and saw her still blissfully snoring under the covers. Shooting a few quick _Muffliato_ charms to the other girls, I shook her shoulder.

"Gally," I whispered, dragging down her patchwork quilt. "Wake up!"

She mumbled something incoherent, but her eyelids fluttered open. The second her eyes landed on me, she shot upright into a sitting position.

"Are you awake now?" I asked impatiently. "Let's plan some pranks! We need to spread our name through all the halls of Hogwarts!"

Instead of the sleepy response I expected, she only grinned at me and said, "Quite literally! We can run around causing chaos now."

I stifled a chuckle. "Then get dressed and let's go. We can discuss more in the kitchens, I'm starving."

Gally quickly pulled some clothes on, and we were sitting in the Hogwarts kitchens only ten minutes later, having some blueberry pie.

"Also, if we do that, we need division of labor. I'll take the Claws this time, you can have the Snakes. And I think we should keep it to you do Gryffindor and I do Hufflepuff," I said, taking a sip of my chamomile tea. Gally simply nodded, her mouth full of pie. "And I think we should use RED and YELLOW (or black, whichever you prefer) paint to do this, to signify our house colors."

"YES!" she exclaimed excitedly, swallowing her food. "I'm totally using yellow. RALLY TROUBLEMAKERS!"

I sniggered, seeing a couple of house elves jump at the sudden noise. It was a good thing no one could hear us in here. I pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and wrote down which parts of the school I would take, and which ones she would take.

"I have to go to class soon. Have I got Ravenclaw and Gryffindor or Slytherin and Gryffindor?" Gally asked, checking her wristwatch.

"You have Slytherin and Gryffindor. If you get confused, just look at the list," I replied, sliding the parchment over to her.

She stashed it in her bag. "We have a meet up place for when we're finished?"

"Great Hall? Library?" I suggested.

"Library, since it's the quiet place and we're not allowed to play pranks there. It'll be our designated meet up spot." Gally got up and headed to the door.

"I'll wait for you there when I'm finished, then. And bring the paint! And make sure it's sufficiently charmed against spot removers, we want it there for a LONG ASS TIME," I called after her. She flashed me a grin and waved, then left the kitchens. I stayed a little while longer to finish my tea, before also standing up and heading to my first class.

* * *

A few hours later, the story continues, as told by Gally:

fanfictiondotnet/s/11355390/1/Detention/


	2. Revenge

I walked into the Great Hall, tired and covered with dirt, and collapsed next to Gally on the Hufflepuff table.

"Did you see? We inspired a revenge prank that got a Ravenclaw detention!" she said, erupting in a loud fit of laughter that echoed through the hall and made everyone look at us weird.

"Ugh, don't remind me," I groaned. "My legs still hurt from searching the forest for our wands. I'm sleeping with mine under my pillow from now on."

"I wonder if I can invent a spell where I can sheath my wand in my arm like Wolverine sheaths his claws... No one could get it then! Hehehe..." A mad little gleam crossed Gally's eyes at prospect. I gave her a weird look.

"That does sound gross. And lethal. Just get a freakin' holster or something and enchant it."

Gally pouted. "But I liiiiiike it. How badass a Hufflepuff would I look if I pulled my wand out of my freaking ARM?"

"Now I'm imagining you puling out three wands like Wolverine's claws," I said with a laugh. "Why not up your sleeve? That's pretty badass."

Gally grabbed three forks and suck them between her fingers. "You cannot defeat ME! I wield the dreaded TRIPLE WAND!" she yelled, then erupted in giggles and almost keeled over. "Hm. Oooor, I could rig a spring-loaded holster like in Assassin's Creed! Secure AND cool!"

"YES! That was exactly what I was thinking of!" I grinned, happy she understood that subtle reference. "By the way, in retaliation, we're pranking Ravenclaw next, and it needs to be SPECTACULAR. Something that will teach them not to mess with our wands."

"Yes! We MUST get Ravenclaw!" she agreed enthusiastically.

"Er, let's warn Owls, though. I think we might drive her to a heart attack," I said, remembering the Ravenclaw's tendency to panic over our pranks.

"Yeah, we don't want to torture poor Owls too much. We'll give her a heads up and leave her out of it, after that hyperventilating episode just a bit ago..." Gally nodded. "What should we do, though?"

I looked at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Hmmm... they like reading, so taking away their inability to read, without damaging the books?"

"Temporarily spell the ink to be invisible? Give Owls a charm that lets her read it still," Gally proposed, looking just as pensive. "Hm. Just the Ravenclaw books, or do we have to get the whole school? They could still go to the Library if we just do the Ravenclaw common room, if they've got homework to do. But their favorite books ought to be in their common room."

"I was thinking maybe something to the Claws themselves," I said. "Maybe some spell that causes temporary dyslexia? Then they wouldn't be able to read, no matter what book they pick up."

"Oooo, I think I saw a spell for that!" she exclaimed. "Similar to the one that makes everyone speak Gobbledygook. Totally doable (and probably easier to manage than changing all the books to invisible ink). I think it doesn't last long though."

"Couple of hours, at least?" I asked hopefully. "We can sneak in and do it during the night, because we need them all in one place. We can't go hunting for Ravenclaws throughout the castle."

"Up to six hours, if it's done right." Gally grinned. "Think anyone will volunteer as a practice dummy?" We both snickered.

"We can practice on each other?" I suggested.

"Like when we went crazy with the _Tinctus_ spell?" We both giggled, remembering the hilarious afternoon we walked around orange as Oompa Loompas. "Good idea. We'll have to mark Owls to make sure we don't get her, though."

I shrugged. "We'll sneak into the dorms and just won't jinx her. Do you want to take the boy dorms or the girl dorms?"

"Oh, either is fine with me." She winked. "At least we're both girls – no slides and alarms for going where we don't belong!"

Once again, I couldn't contain my laughter. "Totally. Well, if it's all the same to you, I want the girls. Lily will _pay_ for making me run around that forest with a niffler. How can she steal wands, who _does_ that!?"

Gally laughed too. "Then I'll take the boys. Though... I'm not sure who any of the boys are! Good thing I don't need the names to cast the spell."

"So it's decided then. Meet in front of the Ravenclaw common room in say... 4 in the morning?" I proposed. "That way the spell should last at least until lunchtime. Sneaking in won't be a problem, since I'm excellent with riddles."

"Four it is," she said with a wide grin, standing up. "See ya then."

* * *

A few hours later, the story continues, as told by Gally:

fanfictiondotnet/s/11355390/2/Detention/


	3. Colorful Sytherins

Usually, I like History of Magic. Really, I do. It's Binns' monotonous droning I can't stand.

I was this close to falling asleep during his latest "lesson," when Gally slid her notebook over to my part of the desk and nudged my arm. I looked down at the words she had written.

 _Well, that was an unfortunate reaction to the prank._

I scrunched up my nose, knowing she was referring to our last prank, where we turned Ravenclaws dyslexic for a few hours. It was supposed to be just a joke to make them incapable of reading, but a whole lot of dirt was kicked up over it, especially because our Headmistress has a kid with dyslexia and was not happy. I inked my quill and scribbled down:

 ** _How were we supposed to know, anyway? And Claire didn't have a problem with the condition itself, but with other people's reaction to it, which was a stupid one._**

The whole thing got me pretty annoyed, because it was a gross overreaction in my opinion. Dyslexia is _not_ a curse, or some deadly disease, and it shouldn't be treated as such. Having dyslexia is not a bad thing, and it doesn't really affect the way you function, doesn't mean you're less smart or really change who you are at all. Yes, people are ignorant and can have idiotic reactions to it, but having the condition itself **_is not harmful in any way_**. After some consideration, I added below:

 ** _You can't win 'em all, I guess. Let's hope we don't offend anyone_** ** _with the next one._**

Gally's eyes slid over my words and she wrote something down.

 _Ahem. The Slytherins. Mags and Uni totally stole_ _my wand. This is why I wanted that spell. BUUUUT... my new enchanted spring-loaded holster is very nice. :D_

I nearly laughed at the mention of the spell. Why go through the trouble of complicated Dark rituals, when there are simpler methods to achieve your goal?

 ** _XD You actually went and got one of those? Sweet.  
We can do something Slytherin-specific next, if you want. Riling the_** ** _m up is hilarious :D  
I seem to recall plans of pink robes and transfiguring everything green in their common room to pink. And every snake on every crest into a pink bunny._**

I saw Gally's lips stretch into a mischievous smirk.

 _Absolutely. They overreact so bad! Dementor attack retaliation for flooding the common room. Yeesh. XD  
OOOO, that one is PERFECT! We'll have to be careful of all those curses they embedded in the walls though._

 ** _We'll just take some care not to touch anything, and to stay away from the walls. There's a secret passage from the Hieroglyphic Hall to the common room, but they don't know about it, so they haven't blocked it XD_**

 _I dearly love those secret passages you know about. They make pranking so much easier._

 ** _Why thank you :D  
Blame it on all the hours I wasted just exploring the castle._** ** _What else am I gonna do, study?_**

 _Seems a little complicated though._ _Why don't we do something from that new book we found?_

I snickered. We'd been experimenting with the spells in that book for the last few weeks, testing a few of them on each other. Not too long ago Gally turned me purple, to which I responded to making her orange, with grass-green hair. She colored me to match and we ended up singing the Oompa Loompa song in the Gryffindor common room and looking like Oompa Loompas for a little while. And that was when inspiration hit me.

 ** _Oh! We should totally go around turning every person a different color!_**

 _Yes! That would be fun. I'm sure we can come up with some pretty interesting colors for everyone. :D Think we could get Headmistress Claire and Deputy Headmistress Xanda as well? Someone should be fuchsia!_

 ** _As long as no one gets offended by it._**

 _I imagine as long as we don't turn anyone a color used to describe a race, we'll be okay. Got any specific colors in mind? I'm sort of thinking make Mags Slytherin colors so she doesn't object too much (or try to hex us back; those Slytherins - always overreacting), but Uni should be Hufflepuff or Gryffindor. :D_

 ** _Mags is sooooo getting the pink sparkly treatment XD It's just too good to pass on._**

 _XD This is true. Is there a Slytherin we like to give light treatment to? Or just hit everyone equally hard. (I'm not sure there's a friendly Slytherin in the bunch... Too bad about that.)_

 ** _XD Nope, I can't think of a single Slytherin I would describe as 'friendly'. Oh wait, Amy! She's friendly._**

 _Yes! Amy! XD I almost think she'd LIKE the sparkly pink treatment. She's almost... bubbly. For a Slytherin._

 ** _We can make her sparkle too XD How about we turn her sky blue?_**

 _Sparkly sky blue it is!_

We spent the rest of the class deciding on colors for all the Slytherins. Time _much_ better spent planning pranks, than listening to Binns make even the bloodiest Goblin rebellion sound like IKEA instructions.

* * *

A few hours later, the story continues, as told by Gally:

fanfictiondotnet/s/11355390/3/Detention/


	4. Professor Claire can't take a joke

This. Is. So. UNFAIR!

I sat in detention, scribbling down my punishment on a piece of parchment. Who the hell gives out two detentions for the same prank!? Now we have to go a whole week without pranks, if we don't want to cost our housemates their hard-earned points. NO PRANKS FOR A WHOLE WEEK!

Ugh, anyway. This whole shebang started yesterday, while implementing the color prank. We stormed into the Slytherin common room, as planned, and just started turning them hilarious colors, like sparkly blue and pink and the like. When the Slytherins attempted to disenchant each other, their spells revealed a flashing countdown on their skin, showing how long the color will last: six more hours.

Then just as we were making our daring escape, however, Deputy Headmistress Xanda showed up at the scene. And of course, Gally had the bright idea to turn her fuchsia. So when I saw this, I just had to stop and laugh, because, well, it was Xanda turned fuchsia. And then Headmistress Claire came too, and I don't know what came over me, I just laughed and turned her yellow. And then... well, Loki came right the hell out of nowhere, and thought she could add a long tail to Claire, who started to suspiciously resemble a canary.

So yes, we got DOUBLE detention. One for coloring the Slytherins, and one for raising wands against Hogwarts staff.

I groaned once more and looked down at my parchment. How much more did I need to write!? Then a wicked smirk stretched on my face and I began scribbling anxiously:

 _Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke. Professor Claire can't take a joke._

I looked at it with satisfaction and rolled it up, turning it in innocently. The rules stated it needed to be 500 words on the reason for detention. Not that I couldn't repeat said words.


End file.
